Which do you prefer in a work context, informal or professional?
It took me a while to fully realise that it is absolutely possible to be both, at the same time.
In my early career I thought they seemed diametrically opposed, especially when working in large corporate organisations. Back then, my impression was that ‘being professional’ seemed to mean “having all your shit together”, knowing everything, always getting it right, being confident and looking the part. It had a polished stiffness to it, where you didn’t admit any vulnerabilities or failures.
‘Being informal’ however, could be considered casual or overly relaxed and risked not being taken seriously. It also meant not minding asking the silly question, having the courage to share a personal story or an unfinished idea, and generally challenging conventional thinking. It was being unstuffy, able to find the fun in work and not getting held back by trying to be perfect.
I desperately wanted to be both, and I admired anyone who seemed to master the combination with apparent ease. They were the people who could mix warmth, compassion and a sense of fun with equal amounts of skill, credibility and integrity. They dared to be themselves, to be human and to push against unhelpful restraints, and they held the space open for others to do the same.
As my self-awareness grew and I realised how much I valued being able to combine the best of these traits, I found my own way to demonstrate my professionalism (being skilled, trusted and reliably good at what I do) in an informal way (easy-going, friendly and non-judgmental).
Years later, I occasionally still feel the weight of my own expectation to be ‘professional’ (particularly the being perfect bit) and need to remind myself that my own mix of informal professionalism not only feels best for me, it also enables me to help and give my best to others.
What did you feel you ‘ought’ to be in your early career?